How to Survive 'Schrödinger’s Scheduling'
Are you a freelance writer slowly dying inside as you wait to hear back from editors about your latest story pitch? You’re not alone. Here’s how to stay sane when stuck between projects.
Freelancers have to master the art of living in a state of quantum uncertainty, of existing simultaneously within several different realities. I spent most of June and July this year waiting for editors and publishers to get back to me on pitches or to discuss future projects. I was peering beyond the gulf of summer (when it’s tough to get hold of anybody and even I have to take a little time off), and was chewing my fingernails at the sight of several months crammed with so many projects I may have been unable to complete them all. Yet those very same months were also completely, terrifyingly empty.
How so?
You’ve heard of ‘Schrödinger’s Cat’, right?
Nobel Prize-winning Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger, one of the founding fathers of quantum theory, came up with a thought experiment in 1935. He was trying to explain how new scientific theories can be considered both correct and incorrect until the point in time where they can actually be proved or disproved.
He stated that if you sealed a cat inside a box containing a substance that could potentially kill the animal at any time, then you wouldn’t know whether the cat was alive or dead until you opened the box. Until then, the cat can be considered simultaneously alive and dead.
While waiting for confirmation on their next project, the freelance author’s schedule exists in a similar state of quantum uncertainty.
The coming months must be considered both full and empty until the point when the editor finally gets back to you with a yes or a no. Your projected cashflow may also be considered both steady and so utterly dry that your stomach turns to knotted rope and you find yourself combing the job ads on LinkedIn for anything offering a salary.
And just to make things extra-suspenseful, that editor or publisher who decides the fate of your career – with all the seeming indifference of Nero musing over whether to spare his last gladiator – might deign to get back to you today, next week or never.
(This is comedic hyperbole, of course. I love editors and I know that I’m sat at home, blissfully blind to their frantic, frustrating workload. Most editors I work with zip back pretty quickly, and those who don’t usually work in comics. But anyway…)
This is how freelancers suffer from ‘feast or famine’.
I for one have very little control over my intake of work. So I spend my working life in a permanent state of panic. I’m either panicking that I’ve taken on too much work or panicking that there’s not enough work to cover the bills. Either way, I’m constantly on the hunt. It’s no wonder that comics like 2000 AD – built by generations of self-employed scribblers – abound with hungry freelancers like Johnny Alpha, Durham Red and Tyranny Rex, grizzled mercenaries eternally chasing their next meal ticket.
What I call ‘Schrödinger’s Scheduling’ is a problem that crops up when I’m between projects, but it’s symptomatic of a broader career trap.
I’ve been talking to a Marvel artist about pitching an original graphic novel to a book publisher, the kind of high-profile project that might attract an agent and give us a little more stability moving forward. But I’ve been kicking this on spec project down the road for the last year or so because paid work keeps getting in the way.
In the end, the artist and I agreed the problem was that we were too deep in the work-for-hire rat-race, working at too low a margin, to ever take time out to pitch that breakout project that might stand a chance of getting us out of a rut that often feels like it’ll last forever.
Did you know that freelance writer and artist Larry Lieber (co-creator of Marvel’s Thor, Iron Man and Ant-Man. Oh, and brother of millionaire Stan Lee) was still grinding out newspaper strips well into his eighties?
No wonder so many younger writers are embracing that straight-to-readership business model that I was talking about in my recent post Why Writers Are Full of Shit (And Why We Have To Be). It’s a strategy that allows us to swerve those pesky publishers altogether. How I dream of dishing out original ghost stories and sword and sorcery tales direct to a paying readership…
Until I touch down in that wonderful neverland, I’ll make the best of my dilemma by pitching only to the most respectable editors and my best, most reliable outlets. But how else can we deal with the troublesome phenomenon of Schrödinger’s Scheduling?
Prepare for Success. Should that pitch you’re waiting to hear back about actually get the green light, make sure that you’re ready to tackle it the second it comes in. Get your project papers in order. Figure out what jobs need doing next should you get the thumbs up. Tick off those pesky research and organisational jobs. Get ready to catch the ball the moment it appears, so you’re good to start running for the end zone straight away. (Because the deadline they propose will always be a date sooner than you expected.)
Develop more pitches (but don’t send them just yet). You can’t keep sending different pitches to different publishers while you’re waiting to hear back from the first one. If they all get the green light, then you won’t have time to do them all and you’ll have royally pissed off an editor. Good luck getting them to read your next pitch! Send out pitches until you’ve reached a potential capacity of something like 20% more than you can comfortably handle should they all get the go-ahead. So if everything comes in green, you’ll be working overtime, but you won’t drown. So develop your next pitch, and the next, and the next. But keep those precious bullets chambered until you’ve scoped out your next target.
Plan That ‘Hail Mary’ Project. Start mapping out the story for that longer-term project you’ve been itching to write, that novel or screenplay or similar passion piece you keep telling yourself you haven’t got time to work on. If you’ve made ready to receive feedback on your current pitch and have your next couple of pitches in the can, invest some planning time in that big personal project you’ve been keeping on the back burner. And if you get interrupted by paying work (and you will), make sure to leave a detailed note for your future self about what progress you’ve made and what needs doing next. Otherwise, the next time you pick up that Hail Mary piece you could spend hours trying to remember what you’ve done with it and what you need to do next!
Publicise. Clean up your website. What’s that…? You don’t have a website or online portfolio? Are you insane!? (Seriously, guys. It blows my mind how many freelancer creators seem to rely on nothing but an obscenity-crammed Twitter feed to represent them online. I’ve been unable to recommend writers and artists for well-paying gigs so many times for that very reason. So, please, for the sake of your career, get a respectable website!) Plan a little publicity for the next project you have coming out. Don’t expect the publisher to do it for you; they’ve got enough on their hands. I had my first Warhammer novel1 coming out, so I took a little time putting together some fun bits of promo for Instagram.
Train. This is key to success as a writer. I don’t care what anyone says. To me the holy trinity of becoming a better writer is this… 1.) Read a lot. 2.) Write a lot. 3.) Study a lot. Never mind artsy-fartsy inspirational bullshit. Relax. That side of things will take care of itself. Study the nuts and bolts of your craft. If you’re looking for recommendations, try Sin and Syntax: How to Craft Wicked Good Prose by Constance Hale, Who Says? Mastering Point of View in Fiction by Lisa Zeidner, The Emotional Craft of Fiction by Donald Maas. And if you’re a comic book writer who hasn’t studied Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud, then don’t expect to get better at what you do any time soon… Don’t just read these books, study them! Make notes, revision cards, whatever you need to do to get that information in your head and internalise it by writing more stories.
Chase a Short-Term Gig. Got any copywriting or subediting contacts? Give them a quick call and ask if there’s anything needs doing. If your project lands in the meantime (and it will), it can likely afford to wait a day or two longer while you finish off a well-paying quickie.
Nudge the Editor. I don’t nag editors, but I will set a date by which it feels like I’ve been waiting an unreasonably long time for a reply. Then I’ll give them a gentle prod. You really don’t want to leave it too long, if only because a vital email might have gotten lost somewhere and they may be waiting for you to get back to them!
Decide a Cut-off Point. Just as I’ll set a nudge-date, I’ll also set a cut-off point. If I haven’t heard anything by then, even after a couple of nudges, then it’s time to consign that project to the reject pile and move on. That’s poor form on the publisher’s part. So put a black mark by their name and warn your fellow freelancers.
If you’ve got any more tips along these lines, go ahead and put them in the comments…
Stay weird.
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Having been ignored several times by 2000ad, and their submissions window now seemingly perpetually closed, I turned to DC Thompson and had my first pitch for Commando accepted. I don't know of any other comics publishers who accept unsolicited script pitches that don't already have an artist working on it. I did Scott Snyder's comics writing 101 and he said you have to bite the bullet and pay an artist. That's easy for him to say, I wish I could pay out a grand or more for 10 pages of sequential artwork and concept art. He got his first comics gig with Detective comics after having some short stories published. I guess if you're good enough, you just "lucky". It feels like kickstarter is the best option for being published these days, but again, you need to pay and artist, letterer, editor, etc. It's hard.